It’s funny how the seeds of a story begin to sprout. On a road trip, while traveling as a passenger in the front seat, I noticed how chapped my lips were as caught myself biting the dry skin. I thought about putting some sort of lip balm on, but then I thought how that would ruin the opportunity to kiss my beautiful chauffeur upon arrival. And then I thought not only of how the taste/texture of lip balm could turn off a lover, but how you might be passing chemicals to your paramour unintentionally. And what if these were dangerous chemicals?

But to be dangerous chemicals, they would probably have to build up over time as the amounts are probably too miniscule to worry about. And then I thought of a karmic-retribution kind of scenario where the guy in this couple having an affair over the course of a year or so develops cancer through the chemicals he ingests off his mistress’s body. Chapstick seemed too pedestrian. But what if as part of their weekday lunch rendezvous he always went down on her? Now, I felt I was on to something. But what would she use that might give him cancer? How about some sort of perfume or fragrance? Yes!, I thought. What a delightful tale this would be about a man who gets tongue cancer as a result of cheating on his wife with a woman who sprays her lady parts with carcinogenic chemicals. And so I filed this little idea away in that dusty card catalog of creations-yet-to-come that is my head… (with a little note to research common perfume chemicals linked to cancer).

And this week we find that actor Michael Douglas may have gotten throat cancer from oral sex. Yesterday’s NY Times even has an article titled “Throat Cancer Link to Oral Sex Gains Notice“. Apparently, a strain of HPV can be transmitted through oral sex.

I hate it when real life beats me to a story, especially when it’s better than I would have imagined…