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I got a new phone.
It asked me
if I wanted
to know what
I would be doing
3 minutes
into the future.

I read
about a
Top 10 List
of
Books-Published-Since-Yesterday.

I have 768
“friends” online.
Haven’t seen
a living
person
in four days.

I started
snorting Red Dye 40
as an exercise
in increasing
my efficiency.

I called my
parents
last night.
I learned that
not only is their
number no
longer in service,
but they
actually
died
several years ago.

Online searches
confirm
that the
most effective
action I could
take to save
the planet
would be
to kill myself.

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