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Dear Liza,

There’s a whole in the bucket. Do not chew it. The doctor advises to “take sublingually.” We can break your jaw with the garlic press if necessary.

I’ll pick up some fiber additive on the way home tonight.

<smooches>,

Henry


[Sung to the tune of “Ring a Ring o’ Roses,”, aka “Ring Around the Rosey”]

Ring around the CDC,

Pocketfull of corona,

COVID! COVID!

We all fall down.


[text message exchange]

Me: 14.2 lb/hr

Dad: ?

Me: That’s the answer to that question you asked throughout my childhood about the woodchuck.


Headline: LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO BURNED ALIVE IN AUSTRALIAN BUSHFIRES, MANDATORY HELMET LAW RESCINDED FOR FIELD MICE


It was only after Humpty Dumpty fell that the years of chronically underfunding the healthcare system came to such stark light. Put him back together? Ha! The King’s horses and his men were scraping by in this gig economy. Ride sharing they called it.


Little Miss Muffet,

Bound prone to a tuffet,

Barely fed and wane;

Last seen with a trafficker,

Who’d sat down beside her,

And disappeared her the very same day.


Headline: 380 YR OLD FORMER WARD OF MOTHER GOOSE REVEALS SEXUAL ABUSE, NURSERY RHYMES TO BE ERASED FROM ALL HUMAN MEMORIES


Jack and Jill had gone up the hill but down below a mob had formed. They posed next to their pitchforks and took selfies. They shouted into their smartphones. Jackelynne came down and ruined their childhoods. Voicing her new pronoun hurt their tongues. They were demanding a right to familiar endings.


It’s acid raining, it’s warming,

The humans are swarming.

They plundered the Earth

for all it’s worth

And the future looks rather alarming.